"You'll get square eyes!"

I’ve been looking forward to the time when the tricky questions will start to be asked; questions that Dad’s are just supposed to know the answers to.

When I say “looking forward”, what I actually mean is “dreading”.

But it’s too late to dread anything; the time is here, right now and the first question lucky old me gets to answer is thus;

“What are fingernails made of?”

This came courtesy of Joseph who has taken to climbing in with M or I for a cuddle. Realising he has forgotten his “taggy” – his satin comforter blanket – he has taken to using one of my thumb nails which I have to say, are a little too smooth to be considered normal.

Sounds weird I know.

Anyway, while looking at my hand, he posed the question and waited patiently for an answer.

Now thankfully, I knew the official answer – keratin – but when followed up with “what is it” and “where does it come from” whilst simultaneously peering at the quick of his nail, hoping to see where they grow from, I was more than a little stumped.

Thanks to Lady Luck however, M walked into the room at that exact moment, allowing me to swing my legs out of bed, announcing I was going for a shower and “ooh, Mummy will know the answer to that, won’t you Mummy?”

Way to go Dad!

The rest of the day was absolutely beautiful. Sun shining, not a cloud in the sky, a perfect day for being out in the garden.

Joseph was not happy though.

“I want to watch TV” he moaned, the corners of his mouth turned firmly downwards in a major sulk.

“But it’s a lovely day", I replied. "If it was raining or cold, then we could all watch television together. TV is for the autumn and winter. When it was cold and windy the other week, you wanted to go on your swing and now you have the perfect opportunity”.

Cue hissy fit and I wait for a calm period before continuing.

“Look, you are at school in a classroom throughout the week. I am in an office at work and watch the sunshine out of the window. On Monday, we’ll be back inside and we won’t get to see any of the sun”.

To which he replied, “yeah, when we walk from school to the car, then we’ll be in the sun”.

As always, my attempts to be stern on certain subjects fall down when Joseph delivers a killer line and I collapse into laughter.

It appears that the 2 minute walk from classroom to car is all the sunshine Joseph needs.

I explained to him that before he was born, his mother and I never owned a television; we actually did things, went out to new places, never just glued to the “evil box”.

His blank expression told me all I needed to know