"I've never really understood ... why you stayed".

As I’m sure you would agree, there are many, many beautiful things associated with our northern neighbour, Scotland. Let me give you just a couple of examples.

Single malt whisky from the Isle of Jura (best drunk from a short tumbler made from finest Edinburgh crystal, natch), the view north (or south) from the west coast of Loch Lomond, fresh snow on your face as you exit the button lift for your final descent of the main run at Aviemore, Sharlene Spiteri, the sea of electric blue thistles on your way down one of many hills in the Trossachs National Park.

Whassat?

Yes, that's right, Sharlene Spiteri.

Oh boy, I remember seeing Ms Spiteri way before Texas made it big - it must've been about '92. I thought she was gorgeous back then and she's still gorgeous now. That woman can do no wrong.

Or at least I thought she could do no wrong. Until I heard this.

Dear oh dear, sweet Sharlene!

NO!

There are some things which cannot be touched and ELO and Olivia Neutron Bomb's Xanadu is one of them!!!

Promise me, promise me, you won't do anything like that ever again?

Promise?

What other Scottish things have I loved and admired over the years?

Sean Connery's marvelloush ack-shent (not to mention his Highlander character's name Juan Sanchez Villa-Lobos Ramirez). Ooh, talking of Highlander (one of my fave films of all time), there was of course, the beautiful Beattie Edney who was on the receiving end of the goosebump inducing line, "goodnight, my bonnie Heather".

Goodnight indeed.

This isn't the first time I have mentioned Scotland (see here), but it will definitely be the last, at least on these pages.

Cheers, Big Yin!