Everything? Lost?

A while back, I was telling a colleague at work about a song I had heard on the radio the day before. Naturally, I was making a very bad attempt at humming the tune.

"Nope, I don’t know what song it is”, she said, exasperated.

I was about to give up when another work colleague came into the room and I asked if she knew the song that “went something like this …” (hummed tune again).

As quick as a flash she replied, “yeah, it’s Michael Bublé. He sings middle of the road tat for old people”.

At this, myself and the woman I had initially been trying to explain to burst into laughter; but for very different reasons.

She laughed because only two minutes previous, I had been saying how much I liked his voice coupled with me being the more senior (not by much, not by much) in my team.

I think I laughed out of being a bit embarrassed.

As you do.

(Hey, what kind of a dull world would it be if we all liked the same music eh?)

Anyhow, to be honest I largely forgot the song I had heard and liked so much that evening.

Until today.

The day of my Uncle’s funeral.

This beautiful song (as far as I’m concerned) floated through the speakers at the crematorium as the curtains closed in front of my Uncle Tony’s coffin. I think I cried not only because I think the song is a poignant one but also because I had been asked to do a reading (of this) at the church and I was feeling more than a little anxious.

In fact, I can’t remember the last time I was so nervous at the thought of doing something as seemingly easy as reading from a piece of paper.

As much as my stomach was churning however, I kept telling myself, “do it for your Uncle”.

This thought helped, but I was still nervous.

Then I tried, "do it for your cousin, Tony’s son”.

Yep, better, but I’m still nervous.

"Do it for your own Dad then, Tony’s brother, come on man, get it together!”

Ok, better still, but boy, nowhere near as much as I had hoped – my stomach was doing somersaults.

As it happens, I managed to read it to the end.

Just.

I struggled at times, but I did it.

And I’m so glad I did it.

I’m glad I read it for the people above as well as for me.

I don’t think I will ever forget the look on my cousin Tony's face as he looked across at me, the service already started and his eyes red from crying; he simply mouthed the words “Ready?”

I think so ….

Yeah.

I’m ready.