By the right, quick march …..

I spoke with Joseph at lunchtime. He spent the day at my mother in law’s house and, as usual, she took him to the shops to buy him the latest addition to his Cars collection.

“Which one did you get today?” I asked.

“The military one. I think he’s called Sarge” he replied excitedly.

Hang on. What’s that noise?

Is that the distant peal of alarm bells I hear?

Yes it is.

Last week, the toy giant Mattel recalled several million toys due to “manufacturing issues”. I remembered one of them was the Sarge character from Cars so onto Google I go, type in 'Mattel recall' and follow the instructions to find out whether or not his toy is affected.

To cut to the chase, I made a note of the serial number and called M‘s mother.

“Have you got his toy there? Have you got your glasses on? Does it have this serial number on the bottom?

I never thought in a million years she would say yes.

But she did.

“Take it off him and tell him to go and wash his hands straight away”.

I think a trip to Woolworths tomorrow might be in order.

To “have a quiet word”.