It happens every time; they all become blueberries.

Taking into consideration that much of the country is under 3 feet of water, I promised myself I wouldn’t complain about the weather at the weekend.

But I lied.

Saturday was Joseph’s school summer fair, held in the playground and what do we see when we look out of the window that morning but clear blue skies.

“Hurrah”, we foolishly cheered.

By 8.30am it was, how should one politely describe, ummm... absolutely raining down very hard indeed!

Anyhoo, the woman in charge of cancelling the whole event was adamant; the show must go on.

And so, M found herself setting up her dental health promotion stall in the pouring rain and the “show” kicked off at noon.

All the loud music and promises of delicious BBQ burgers couldn’t quite haul the fair into the fun zone, although it was a valiant effort. Knocking a coconut out of a metal peg is hard enough as is it, without your view of said coconut obscured by rainwater running into your eyes.

The schools dancers and gymnasts looked cold and miserable, slipping all over their crash mats, children’s painted faces were running down their necks and all the fried onions and ketchup in the world wasn’t going to make my hot dog any more “summery”.

I don’t know how much less the school took than if it had been postponed but I would imagine the difference would be substantial.

Overall summary? Wet.

To Sunday next and another birthday party for Joseph; an ice cream party, whatever one of those is! It turns out that an ice cream party involves providing the guests with absolutely nothing but ice cream.

To hell with the sausage rolls, no need for sandwiches or crudités right?Let's just get straight in there with the ice cream and toppings, including, but not limited to, chocolate buttons, white chocolate buttons, squirty cream, hundreds and thousands, glace cherries, sherbet pips and so on.

Children + sugar is bad enough but doesn’t seem as bad when their stomachs have been lined with something substantial.

Children + sugar minus food however and you have a recipe for complete disaster.

And the parents seemed confused as to why there wasn’t a single child who could sit still long enough to play pass the parcel.

This man would have been proud.