"But you said .... "

I narrowly (but brilliantly) avoided a mammoth fit yesterday morning taking Joseph to breakfast club in the car. We’ve just driven off when he announces, “Is it Tuesday today?”

At first I just thought he was sharing this knowledge with me and I replied, “Clever lad, that’s right. How did you know today was Tuesday?”

However, he wasn’t sharing – he was enquiring and I could tell by the crumpling of his face and the way he was straightening his legs and kicking them into the back of the passenger chair that the day held some mighty significance.

“Yes,” I nervously replied. “Today is Tuesday. Why, what’s up?”

“Today is PE and you didn’t put my trainers on”. Cue impending freak out.

Oh Lord, think man, think.

“Yeah, and d’you know why I didn’t put your trainers on?” I spluttered, my mind racing so as to avoid having to pull over and strap him into his chair even tighter.

“Why?” he asked, his legs relaxing in anticipation of a valid reason.

“Why?” I stalled. “Why didn’t I put your trainers on? Why didn’t I put your trainers on instead of your shoes? Why did I do that? The reason I did that was …. well, it’s obvious why I did that. I mean, there can only be one reason why I would do something like that isn’t there? The reason is that (think man think) … is …. is ….. that, it rained heavily in the night, see the puddles on the pavement?”

He looks and I know that I may be saved.

“Well, the thing is, your shoes are made out of leather and leather shoes can get wet but still keep your socks and feet dry. Your trainers though, they’re made out of a different material and they won’t keep your feet nice and dry. I thought that if you walked to school from breakfast club in your trainers, then you might get wet socks and then your feet will be cold and soggy but your shoes, they’ll keep your feet toasty and dry. See?”

(Please see, pleeeease) He turns from peering out of the window to face me, smiles, laughs and then sits back in his seat, satisfied with the answer.

The whole episode probably only lasted 45 seconds but the repercussions could have been enormous; the difference between him freaking out and not wanting to go to breakfast club. The difference between turning around for his trainers and me being late for work.

Ok, so I avoid a mini-fit. Cut to the afternoon after I’ve picked him up from school.

We’re walking home and as we round a corner, we come across a huge puddle and I gulp; I know what’s coming next.

“Dad, can I jump in the puddle?”

“No. You haven’t got your wellies on”.

You have to bear in mind that the water level looked like it would’ve come up to his chin should he jump in!!

“But, you said my shoes were waterproof”

I did, didn't I.

Checkmate!

“Yes, I know I did, but I wanted to clean your shoes for you this evening and I can’t clean them if they’re soaking wet now can I?”

It worked. Just. I polished his shoes last night so they were clean and “more waterproof” than yesterday.

AND to not prove myself a liar at the same time!

Good thinking Dad.