"Oh no he isn't!" "Oh yes he is!"

I thought this was a little weird.

After yesterdays photograph of my children's feet (which itself was a tad random), today I received a letter, cc'd to me from a chap to whom I had been referred by my General Practitioner (or Doctor).

I will 'read' it to you word for word.

Ahem.

"Dear So-and-so.

Thank you for referring Mr Dad On A Bike who is having a problems with a painful swelling in the posterior of his left lateral malleolus.

On examination, he has a pes cavus foot type and associated lateral loading while statically weightbearing and during gait (over supination). I believe this has caused over-use of the peroneal muscle groupl causing a strain and associated swelling. The level of supination was slightly greater on the left limb, however I could not detect any limb length difference.

I have attempted to control the supination of his foot by using a temporary orthotic device. I am reviewing Mr Dad On A Bike in 4 weeks where I hope to make a plaster impression of his foot and and make a more permanent device.

If you have any queries ..... yours sincerely ..... blah blah blah".

So, all clear on what's happened there?

No?

Me either!

In fact, if it weren't for the fact that I was present at the time of my examination, I wouldn't have the faintest clue what he was whittering about.

And I thought I could waffle on for ages about not much in particular!!!

Not to put too fine a point on it, I have a swollen ankle.

Ok, ok, it's an extremely swollen and very painful swollen ankle but nevertheless, are all those medical words really necessary?

The "orthotic device" he referred to is basically a small insert to stop me walking on the outside of my heels as I walk. They are a little unusual and will take some getting used to but the plus side of them is that they have taken me approximately three quarters of an inch closer to my dream height of being 6 foot tall.

I am now standing tall at 5 feet, 9 and a half inches.

Nearly.

Ooh, another positive is that I got to take this unbelievably pointless sign in the hospital which I swear I have not doctored (sorry).

I mean, who decides to make a sign like this???